Not feeling quite so brave

Of course it's a Happy New Year and we're all extremely thankful and grateful to be here but Norma's post about being a brave little soldier struck a chord!
My type B dissection is getting bigger, despite all the meds, and the Op I was sort of looking forward to to sort things out turns out to be very complicated and risky. So I have to live with the risk of rupture whilst waiting for the dissection to get so big that there is no choice but to operate.
With all that, the thing that bothers me the most is the tiredness and bad dreams.
Still, the kids, family and darling wife couldn't be more lovely and the posts on here make me smile and realise there are a lot of people with a lot more on their plate.
I didn't manage to pursue the idea of setting up support group meetings at St Thomas's yet, but perhaps this will be the year.
So although I'm determined to keep smiling, I am going to permit a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself every now and again.
Best wishes to all.

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Comment by norma bell on January 12, 2015 at 20:09: hi Paul - I dont know about you but I've started to feel like I'm talking about someone else! Last week I spent a very embarrassing hour in our local A&E with a pain in my back, turned out I needed a couple of Rennies. I know exactly how you feel. I'm desperatley trying to 'live in the moment' but its not easy. You're not alone.

Comment by Graeme on January 12, 2015 at 15:06: Hang in there Paul..its not easy as Kimberlee said - but we have your back....

cheers

Graeme

Comment by Wayne Settje on January 11, 2015 at 4:14: Hello again from Oregon U.S.A. and a Happy New Year to all. I am so sorry to hear that you are having complications Paul. You are in my prayers. As Kimberly said, you have the right to be concerned and feel sorry for yourself. It is difficult at best to live life on daily basis. Again you are in my prayers.

Comment by Kimberlee Jones on January 11, 2015 at 3:29: Feel sorry for yourself...you are not only allowed but you deserve it. Don't forget through all this you are human! I know the waiting is the hardest part...my aneurysm(this was after dissection) grew to 6.2cm before they operated. The whole time fearing like a ticking time bomb. Just know the guidelines for surgery is the risk of rupture has to out way the risks of surgery. How often are they doing repeat scans? Remember you are not alone and this is the place to vent, cry, whatever you need.

*hugs*

Kimberlee