Aortic dissection, aortic aneurysm - The aorta - Life after an aortic dissection
I read your post understanding how you feel. I am going through the same emotional ups & downs, my second opp if on May 4th.
You need to remain positive, at all times. Hard i know, but you can't let those negative thoughts take over your life. Its "very" important you go into your opp with a positive attitude & focus on getting well at the end of it.
I have taken external counselling as one route. This allows you to share your thoughts with someone outside the circle of family & friends. They have helped put things in perspective & may be a route you should consider.
I know we can't do the same things ever again. Pain is a constantly lurking in the background, but we made it & i am happy to carry on 80%, if not 100% - never give up!
You need to carry on & make your plans, work through your usual routines. Letting negative thoughts creep in are defeatist, it will drag your down & that will effect your recovery & health.
Be positive, stay focused on what needs to be done & prepare mentally & physically as best you can. Make sure you have a good support network & all will be well.
Maria.. hugs to you too...
Yes.. I sometimes have felt like you do ... especially on a dark winters night in bed when the house is quiet as a mouse with the wind howling and the rain lashing the roof of our converted barn ..... You feel so alone, frail, helpless and very much the 'why me' I gues this is where faith comes in - faith in your god, faith in yourself, faith in your partner, family and friends.. but - it is TOTALLY natural! And, in the morning when daylight streams in the window and the rain has gone - it seems like it was just a bad dream. Fear is a natural emotion. For all of of the human race. We are just a little closer to the core than most normal people. So remember and take on board all the good things about your life and try and put the scary things outside ... It sorta seems to work with me anyway! I know just how scared you are over this new development. Remember thought - that we - your friends - are all here for you..
You'd be a very strange person indeed if you weren't scared! It's the doing it anyway(didn't someone write a book on that theme? lol) that comes from your inner strength. We forget that it takes much courage to fight for our lives and take these decisions sometimes. I had to have a small op to take a couple of loose sternal wires out. 10mins. Nothing. I was admitted the day before so they could run a whole load of tests while they'd got me there. The last time I was there was for my emergency operation when I dissected. SO much easier when you have no choice or decisions to make!!! Don't think I stopped shaking until I woke up after the very, very short minor op - so believe me I really can believe you're scared of this operation. I would be. It's a big step but no bigger than the one you already took. You're not being negative in voicing these fears - you're just saying it as it is. It's better to voice it and confront it - at least then you know when you're stomache flips over and your chest gets tight and the pounding in your head gets louder - it's fear. Nothing more. Nothing else to panic about.
I only walk for cardio exercise because of my long dissection but rush around at work all day. I dance around the house when no-ones around or just stretch out with some yoga or pilates. You won't have damaged yourself, I'm sure. It's the condition.
When it's too much?? I run a bath, fill it with oils, light a candle and cry it all out. Just howl until the calm comes. Silly, but it helps - if nothing else to keep your blood pressure down!!!
Be kind to yourself
Allie x x x
The mental similarities amongst all of us is sad to say comforting as it lets me know I'm not the only one.
There are times pretty much every week that I feel like I'm now manic/depressive - basically bipolar! But I know it's just the mental game AD plays on us.
There isn't anything you have done to hurt yourself --- as I'm sure they can't pinpoint exactly what caused your situation in the first place -- it just is. I know that doesn't help and I know we all question ourselves when things seem "off".
You might not be able to keep the pace you have been recently once your surgery is done, but don't ever let go of that inner desire and guiding force - it's there for a reason, and maybe it's what made you survive the first time and what will make you survive and conquer it this second time.
I can question my decisions over my lifetime leading up to my dissection, but there really isn't anything I would change. I wouldn't have stopped exercising, or working, or having my 4 kids --- my life just wouldn't be real if I had.
My surgery has redirected my life - especially work wise, but it also let me know how much I want to be here, what is most important to me, and what I still want to accomplish while I'm still here.
You have goals and desires of what you want to accomplish and I think that's a huge plus going into your surgery!
I just happened to check on the site tonight and found your discussion so I don't even know if you already had the surgery, but just know, you've been on my mind alot and all my prayers and positive thoughts go out your way --- I'm not too far from you -- just a bit Northwest from you in Minnesota --- but my heart and optimism are there with you!