Aortic dissection & aortic aneurysm information support group

Aortic dissection, aortic aneurysm - The aorta - Life after an aortic dissection

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Those Left Behind

This group is for those of us who are left behind due to AD.

Members: 6
Latest Activity: Aug 1, 2013

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A great comfort.. 1 Reply

Hi LanaWell done! This group is a great idea and I am sure will provide great comfort and support for all those who have lost their loved ones to AD or AD related illness. If you need any help…Continue

Tags: group, aorta, support, aneursym, dissection

Started by Graeme. Last reply by Lana Gavin Dec 26, 2009.

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Comment by Lana Gavin on June 20, 2011 at 0:44

Hi, Vickie.  Well, I guess the group is still going.  It's kind of hard for me to even talk about this stuff, even though it's been two years.  I hope you'll just continue posting.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.  I haven't read all your posts but I know how very difficult it is.  David's illness was never diagnosed and it was a huge shock to all of us.  He was here one day and gone the next.  Terrible, terrible time in our lives.

Comment by vickie mckasson on June 19, 2011 at 18:37
Is this group still going? I've noticed its been acouple of years. I'll keep writing. It tends to help. Being alone is not new to me it just is.
Comment by vickie mckasson on June 19, 2011 at 18:36

Happy Fathers day to all. Its been six weeks to the day since Johns surgery our first day in ICU. I can't remember what all was said to me. I do remember the words graft, real bad, 2% chance, miracle and he can hear you. I saw how swollen John was and so many machines that I could barely see him.I was afraid to touch what little bit of his swollen hand I could see. Those monitors above him that I didn't at the time know anything about had bells or alarms that sent panic threw me that just meant he needed more of this med or that med. The two exceptional nurses that knew exactly what to do and when left me in awe of them and i felt in the way for everywhere I would move they had to be to adjust this and that. On the  3rd day of this amazing and continual care johns swelling had continued and it looked as if he would burst but John opened his eyes and it seemed as if he could look right through me before going back out. The 4th day his doctor talked with me and said he might have to go back into surgery that there might be a bleeder, so i gave permission. He was so swollen his insides popped two staples out. All the staples were removed and the exposed area were covered with this medpad. No bleeders were found. Dr said he just needed some healing time before putting the staples back in. This went on for several more days and in the meantime I had to pack up and close Johns office. His business, the reason we were 200 miles from home, friends and family. The girls in our office went above and beyond in helping. Not only had our income stopped but also our employees and after completing unfinished projects which took us into the 2nd week the Office empty I turned in the keys to the owner of the building. By this time there were 4 specialist attending to various parts of Johns body. A blood dr. They said he had "toxic" blood which was infected. Then a kidney Dr. They said his kidneys wern't working and would need dyalisis. Then a vein and artery Dr. They said Johns veins kept "blowing" out and he needed "ports". As you can tell I'm not to familiar with titles or medical procedures and words that I can't pronounce. My brain must be made of teflon. Johns temp kept spiking up and his blood work showed to much of this and to much of that.  On the 11th day they were able to put the staples back in but not until trying the 24 hour dyaliss but his blood was so thick it kept clogging the machine. They had to chance  the 4 hour quick dyalisis to get the fluid out and the chance paid off. He still hadn't woke up. They said he wasn't in a induced coma but that he was in a protect mode. Johns feet had started turning purple the fear was that a shower of clots had went through his body. Without the knowledge of Johns (i learned later) main doctor, Staff from a unit of the hospital called palliative care had been contacting me at different times mentioning long term care, quality of life, Costs and what would john want.  Little did I know the seeds to make the ultimate decision had been planted. I have to stop now. I know getting this out is helping me sort it out I just hope it helps someone else but now I have to lay down.

Thank you all for being here

Comment by vickie mckasson on June 19, 2011 at 18:33

Our story is the kind one reads in a steven king novel or watch on a horror show. John died June 3rd in a Hospice residence 12hours after being moved there. He wasnt going to let that hospital get a piece of him I think. I'm still trying to figure everything out that happened. It was and is still confusing. John became aware several times during this 4 weeks but could not talk or move except his hands and feet a few times but one morning he was able to answer some questions by shaking his head up and down or turning to the right for no, he was able to do this for about 15 minutes until they sedated him and that was the last time he was fully aware. Beginning the first week in ICU  I had to face reality and divide my time between packing up and closing Johns office and packing up the apartment thatthe  company he worked rented for us. I virtually had no help except for one day and I had to take our stuff from both office and apartment to our house in Oklahoma city which is about 200 miles away from Fort Worth, Texas where the AAA happened then turn around to get back to John. I was so overwhelmed I can't remember alot of what I was told about Johns condition or what they did but I do remember some of it along with signing permission for them to do other procedures. I  don't know why I didnt write about Johns death. Maybe I didn't want to scare anyone for one thing along with the fact that it also makes it real when I write it. I'm so sorry. Thank you for your encouragment, I am trying to figure out through your stories, set backs and recoverys all the what ifs Maybe and the similarities. i had to make serious decisions for him and finally the ultimate decision.Did anyone else have to make decisions for your person also?

vickie mckasson

Comment by Lana Gavin on December 26, 2009 at 22:02
I keep trying to tell myself that, Graeme. It usually doesn't work. David was a lively, fun-loving person who always had something to say. He was a lawyer, so you can imagine how opinionated he was. He was always trying to make me laugh. My daughter and her two children live with us and the kids loved him so much. Geoffrey, who is, was very, very close to David. Their own father (Doug) died of lung cancer in 2005, although he never smoked. As you can see, our household has had its share of tragedies over the past several years. When Doug died, David acted as a sort-of stand in for him. Geoffrey told him he felt like he was his father. It's all just so sad.

When David died, my daughter was a great comfort to me. One day she said, "Mom, isn't it amazing that I am sitting here saying the very same things you said to me when Doug died?"
Comment by Graeme on December 26, 2009 at 21:25
Lana,

He hasn't gone - he has only left this room..

Graeme and Nikki
Comment by Lana Gavin on December 26, 2009 at 21:19




Hi to all those left behind due to AD. I'd like to introduce myself by telling my story. I've written part of it and will continue when I'm able.

David and I were together for 18 years in August, 2008. We had our ups and downs, but in the end, it turned out wonderful.

This past June 12, 2009, David woke up with pain. My daughter brought him to the ER where he was diagnosed with an Aortic Dissection. He died suddenly later that evening. My whole world exploded. I was, and still am, in total shock and numb. Mourning is not the word for it. I am in a deep depression that I can't shake. I'm lucky if I get out of bed to do anything.
Comment by Lana Gavin on December 26, 2009 at 21:09
Graeme, Thank you so much. You are the best!!!
Comment by Graeme on December 26, 2009 at 21:06
Lana, Done!

Cheers

Graeme
Comment by Lana Gavin on December 26, 2009 at 19:41
Graeme, is there any way you could sort-of announce the beginning of this group and its purpose on the main page? I'm not familiar with everyone yet and would like them all to know about it. For those who have been left behind, as well as maybe some sort of "warning" to the survivors. Survivors don't need more to worry about. Thanks so much.
 

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